Post by mao on May 4, 2020 10:05:50 GMT -6
“All right, y’all! Let’s take a look…” Leshawna glances down at the voting results, and does a sassy pose. She looks around the room to see which one of them shady ladies and lads voted for her. “So y’all voted for Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, huh? Well, let’s see… the good ol’ muppet doctor is…”
“That’s right!” exclaims Leshawna. “My cute little ‘man behind the slaughter’ and I saw it all from our secret room. That was messed up, man! White people are crazy. Or…” She takes another glance at the doctor. “...yellow… muppets… I guess.”
The Man Behind the Slaughter nods in a slow and purple way. “Apparently the kind doctor had been planning this from the very beginning, regardless of which person was drawn to receive the cure. However, he was pleased that it ended up being Ultimate Michael, because he had, and I quote, ‘been way too into muppets that it crossed the line from quirky to creepy’.”
The CDC agents look at each other and nod. “It seems that our work here is done,” says the male agent. “We will report back to HQ and get the cure here as soon as possible. And put you, doctor, behind the bars. Don’t go anywhere.”
As soon as the two agents leave, the occult book starts to shudder and twitch. In front of everyone’s incredulous eyes, the demon Alu appears. “You know there’s a way to get the cure faster, right, morons?” he asks. “That doctor is cured now because of what he did to that muppet-loving sap. And muppets’ hearts are big enough to hold a lot of love… I’m sure there’s enough cure in there for everyone…” He winks.
The remaining patients and staff look at each other uneasily. Yes, they are all sick of being sick. But could they really do that…? Could they really perform the same act that they had just persecuted Dr. Bunsen Honeydew for performing?
The silence is broken when Dio shouts, “GIMME YOUR HEART!” Despite his injured leg and stitched tongue, he takes Dr. Honeydew by surprise by tackling him to the ground. Hiyoko joins in immediately, pinning down the doctor’s arms. Mikan, still filled with despair and drooling, grabs a kitchen knife. Amai, Valerie, Akira, and Chiaki (and the newly resurrected Mahiru) watch in horror as Mikan starts to straddle the doctor and slices him from neck to navel.
“Aight, that’s messed up,” says Leshawna. She and the Man Behind the Slaughter vanish, back to their honeymoon suite.
“Forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me…” chants Mikan softly as she tears the muppet doctor’s still-beating heart from his chest, and takes a bite. The heart is passed around to the three people holding down Dr. Honeydew, and Mikan force-feeds some to the other five who wanted no part in this. All the while, Alu is laughing maniacally.
When the CDC agents return with a batch of the cure, they find, instead of seven bedridden, sick people, eight bloodsoaked, totally healthy people. The police are there, too, to take the murderous doctor into custody… but it seems his body, minus the heart, is lying dead at your feet.
The eight of you are finally able to leave St. Leshawna’s Hospital… in police cruisers. Yep, all seven of you are looking at thirty years to life.
Victory…?
GUILTY!!!
“That’s right!” exclaims Leshawna. “My cute little ‘man behind the slaughter’ and I saw it all from our secret room. That was messed up, man! White people are crazy. Or…” She takes another glance at the doctor. “...yellow… muppets… I guess.”
The Man Behind the Slaughter nods in a slow and purple way. “Apparently the kind doctor had been planning this from the very beginning, regardless of which person was drawn to receive the cure. However, he was pleased that it ended up being Ultimate Michael, because he had, and I quote, ‘been way too into muppets that it crossed the line from quirky to creepy’.”
The CDC agents look at each other and nod. “It seems that our work here is done,” says the male agent. “We will report back to HQ and get the cure here as soon as possible. And put you, doctor, behind the bars. Don’t go anywhere.”
As soon as the two agents leave, the occult book starts to shudder and twitch. In front of everyone’s incredulous eyes, the demon Alu appears. “You know there’s a way to get the cure faster, right, morons?” he asks. “That doctor is cured now because of what he did to that muppet-loving sap. And muppets’ hearts are big enough to hold a lot of love… I’m sure there’s enough cure in there for everyone…” He winks.
The remaining patients and staff look at each other uneasily. Yes, they are all sick of being sick. But could they really do that…? Could they really perform the same act that they had just persecuted Dr. Bunsen Honeydew for performing?
The silence is broken when Dio shouts, “GIMME YOUR HEART!” Despite his injured leg and stitched tongue, he takes Dr. Honeydew by surprise by tackling him to the ground. Hiyoko joins in immediately, pinning down the doctor’s arms. Mikan, still filled with despair and drooling, grabs a kitchen knife. Amai, Valerie, Akira, and Chiaki (and the newly resurrected Mahiru) watch in horror as Mikan starts to straddle the doctor and slices him from neck to navel.
“Aight, that’s messed up,” says Leshawna. She and the Man Behind the Slaughter vanish, back to their honeymoon suite.
“Forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me…” chants Mikan softly as she tears the muppet doctor’s still-beating heart from his chest, and takes a bite. The heart is passed around to the three people holding down Dr. Honeydew, and Mikan force-feeds some to the other five who wanted no part in this. All the while, Alu is laughing maniacally.
When the CDC agents return with a batch of the cure, they find, instead of seven bedridden, sick people, eight bloodsoaked, totally healthy people. The police are there, too, to take the murderous doctor into custody… but it seems his body, minus the heart, is lying dead at your feet.
The eight of you are finally able to leave St. Leshawna’s Hospital… in police cruisers. Yep, all seven of you are looking at thirty years to life.
Victory…?
THE END
Oh wait, that’s not where it ends, nevermind.
After being sent to prison for a crime that was totally justified given the circumstances, the eight victims draw up a lawsuit with their lawyer, Penix Wright. They sue the manufacturer of the hospital’s fMRI machine, Maolys Technologies, due to the device not adhering to the fundamental laws of nature and electromagnetism.
The CEOs of the manufacturing company are outed as frauds, who never even applied for a science degree and did not have the qualifications to lead the company at all. They are put on trial for causing the death of Ultimate Michael with their fake science and promptly forced to pay the other surviving residents of the hospital $1,000,000 in Canadiaian money.
The eight Ultimates use this money to bribe Toasty, who is now the president, into giving them a presidential pardon. They all get out of jail and get high to celebrate it. The Man Behind The Slaughter is still being held captive by Leshawna in the now deserted hospital.
Yay! Happy ending!
After being sent to prison for a crime that was totally justified given the circumstances, the eight victims draw up a lawsuit with their lawyer, Penix Wright. They sue the manufacturer of the hospital’s fMRI machine, Maolys Technologies, due to the device not adhering to the fundamental laws of nature and electromagnetism.
The CEOs of the manufacturing company are outed as frauds, who never even applied for a science degree and did not have the qualifications to lead the company at all. They are put on trial for causing the death of Ultimate Michael with their fake science and promptly forced to pay the other surviving residents of the hospital $1,000,000 in Canadiaian money.
The eight Ultimates use this money to bribe Toasty, who is now the president, into giving them a presidential pardon. They all get out of jail and get high to celebrate it. The Man Behind The Slaughter is still being held captive by Leshawna in the now deserted hospital.
Yay! Happy ending!
you got this
